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Gift From Within
PTSD Resources for Survivors and Caregivers
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A Prayer To You

May the wind lift your spirits
To the hearts of your loved ones

May the efforts of all
Ease your worried souls
And remind you
That you will never be forgotten

May our tears wash away your pain
And soften your path to heaven

Anonymous
9-14-01
A Prayer To God

Dear God
Please rouse us from this nightmare
That shattered the hearts of many
And stopped the hearts of many more
Please bring comfort to the families
Endurance to the rescuers
Mindfulness to our leaders
And peace to all the earth
Amen

Anonymous
9-14-01
Toes in the Grass

Toes in the grass
Head in the stars
Heart full of love
For the child

Hands on my hips
Feet firmly planted
I stand my ground
For the child

Eyes that are lit
By the fire in my soul
Fill with compassion
For the child

Silenced no more
By my brother's shame
I speak the truth
For the child

Run with the dogs
Dance in the sun
Carry the hope
For the child

Climb on the rocks
Play in the mud
Sing a nice song
For the child

Sleep in my bed
Dream of the Heron
Heart full of thanks
For the child

Anonymous
4-16-02
Welcome Home

Welcome home
Sweet blue-eyed girl
Let's begin anew

Yesterday
I used my voice
And took things back for you

Welcome home
Courageous child
Let's begin our day

Yesterday
I stood my ground
The monster's gone away

Come to me
Sweet blue-eyed girl
Release the heavy sigh
Fall into my loving arms
I'll hold you while you cry

Welcome home
Beautiful one
Let's begin our life

We're free now from
The grip of shame
And terrors of the night

Welcome home
I say to me
As I settle in my skin

Yesterday
I shed the blame
And put it all on him

Anonymous
3-6-02
GHOST TOWN


Tumble weeds crack---pop
across dust
swirls rise
to claim the air.

Off in the distant past
an old standing bar
sweet smells
laughter from afar.

Music drifts slowly
up the battered stairs
white embroidered curtains
flap lazily
to call her there.

A whisper so faint
one must cock
an ear to hear---yes
her presence is
very near.

Wind gathers strength
as the door slams
shut
movement trapped
in time
her presence
no more
than a touch.

Rebecca
Today is My Time

I choose to live for today
Enjoying what is there.
And if tomorrow doesn't come
I'll know that fair is fair.

I'll do what I can each day
Without a wish to wait -
Succeeding with my dreams
Before it's too late.

I'll take the time as it comes.
With the clock that guides me on,
Capturing each opportunity
Before my chance is gone

Of course, I'll have to plan
But only to an extent
Or I'll realize that the future
Is how my life was spent

The present is my time.
And I won't let it go by,
Since the day will surely come
When I will have to die.

I have had this poem in my office for l8 years. It is sad and poignant and Ms. Blum was certainly a talented writer.

Originally Printed in MADD.
Reprinted with permission-
From Becky's mother.
Becky wrote this before her death
On May 4, 1991.
Dedicated to all survivors of trauma. For their courage, and strong spirit.

I BELIEVE IN

YOUR WORDS
YOUR DREAMS
YOUR HOPES
YOUR STRENGTHS
YOUR COURAGE
AND MOST OF ALL I BELIEVE IN YOU.

By Patti L.
Imaginary Walk

Come join me in a walk, my friends,
if only in our minds,
beneath a clear blue spring time sky
and down a road that winds.

We'll stroll past fields of daffodils,
through groves of apple trees,
past laughing rills and grassy hills
and softly cushioned leas.

The breeze that wraps around us in
a gesture of God's smile
will bring the scent of newborn life
to bless each passing mile.

We'll pause beside the laughing brook
to watch the birds descend,
beside the weeping willow tree
that dances in the wind.

We'll stop to talk, to reminisce
and laugh and have a snack,
enjoying all God's grand display
before we must head back.

So far away from all the din
that marks our daily pace,
we'll catch up on each other's lives
in this majestic place.

Whenever you become weary
just close your eyes, we'll start
to take this walk together
as we share it heart to heart.

patti b.
Child I Was

From pictures of just two or three
the child I was smiles back at me.

From pictures of just three or four
I hadn't walked through trauma's door.

From pictures of just four or five,
the joy in me was yet alive.

From pictures of just five or six
there was nothing broken to fix.

From pictures of just six or seven
compared to later life was heaven.

Somehow a wall came up at eight
and I can now appreciate

the innocence before that time,
the way I lost myself by nine.

The wall is high and thick and hard
and I must always be on guard.

The child I was I wish to find,
to see life is not all unkind.

The hope I had I must reclaim,
find things don't have to stay the same.

The wall is thick, it's oh so thick.
I fight though I feel weak and sick.

Within the wall there is a gate,
I'll find it, me, that child of eight.

pattib
Rescuer

Little girl, not helpless anymore
Nor alone shall anymore you be.
Someone strong and brave and powerful
From this moment by your side you'll see.

When they fight throughout the night and you
Stare into the darkness wishing there
In your room a rescuer would be,
Holding you and showing that they care?

Look beside you, standing by your bed.
I am there and I know you so well.
Little girl, so lovely and so sad
All your fears and secrets you can tell.

When the shock of things you should not see
Leaves you speechless, frozen without voice
I will take you gently in my arms
Show you that you really have a choice.

We will leave them to their devilry,
To their childish failure to survive.
We, yes you and I, will go away
And we'll learn it's good to be alive.

I will teach you that you have a voice,
That you matter, that your will is strong.
I will show you just how good you are
And we'll find a place that we belong?

Far away from adults who are weak
And would hurt us with stupidity.
I will never ever leave your side
I am superwoman, you and me.

I am superwoman, you and me.

patti b.
11/4/02
Daddy's Legacy

To you I'd run at end of day
to greet you in my girlish way.
A daddy's girl, they said of me.
And it was true as it could be.

I stood in awe of you, you know.
I'd hover all around and so
you had to know I needed you,
and innocently trusted too.

But something happened and you changed
and everything got rearranged.
You snapped at me, you made me fear
the very one that I held dear.

You changed, got angry, tried to take
your very life. What a mistake!
You did it right in front of me.
My childhood ended suddenly.

******

I wish that I could truly say
that everything's ok today.
But that is not the case. You see
I still live with that legacy.

I needed you. You let me down.
Changed all my smiles to one big frown.
It's not too late. And if you will?
I'm grown up but I need you still.

patti b.
01/16/03
PANIC

I'm tired.

I still feel like that eight year old girl who is looking for somewhere to feel safe, some one to take care of her.

I'm scared.

Every new experience fills me with panic and makes me sick at my stomach.

I'm trapped.

I want a place to go and hide, where I can just have peace.

I'm waiting.

For someone to make the bad man go away and spirit me away to a safe, warm place where there is love and nothing bad can happen anymore.

It feels like the floor will collapse under me, or the ceiling will fall down, of something really, really awful is going to happen.

My heart is racing. I'm panting. I feel like I need to run away from something, but what? An unnamed fear stalks me, ever present.

I want my daddy. I still want my daddy. But he's not there. He's sick, he's scary, he's not safe anymore.

Why do I still need him, still seek his approval and love? Why do I waste my efforts on something I'll never have?

If only I had safe place, for just awhile. Maybe, just maybe I could grow stronger.

But now I want to run away from daddy and to daddy. I want him to pick me up and hold me and tell me it's ok. I run back and forth, to him, away from him, to him, away from him. I pace like a cat cornered by a vicious dog.

Oh God, somebody hold me and make me feel safe.

I'm a woman now. I have to hold myself. I have to make myself safe. I can't. I don't know how. I never learned how.

Please tell me how to do it? Just hold my hand and tell me how to do it?

pb
7/8/03
Phantom Dog

Pacing like a poor lost soul, sniffing all around
drinking out of muddy spots
searching, searching for the home you lost,
or that lost you,
or grew tired of you and put you out

Someone somewhere cared for you,
healthy, white teeth, leather collar
but no tag
where do you belong?

Hungry, so hungry and so tired
rib cage bulging through your fur
of brindle patterns

As I call to you, your tail wags in hope
you approach stealthily, carefully,
circling me to know if I'm safe
you determine I am
my voice carries love and welcome,
pity and warmth

I throw a morsel to you and you swallow it up
that captures your attention
and brings you closer

I freeze as I see there is pit bull in you
but I cannot leave you there on the street,
hungry, dodging cars of steel and speed
I risk the possibility of bites
I have to

You lay down before me, lick my hand,
your tail wags and your eyes call to me,
help me, I am lost and alone and hungry and scared
I know you are no danger

I examine you, then hold you
and call for help
though it takes hours to come

I sit with you in the warm summer night
and you, finally safe, sleep in the warm grass

Some people in my life I couldn't save
You, I can.

pb
7/8/03
In The End

In the end it's only you who rescues what was lost,
the wonder, trust and innocence that were your natural right
when your eyes first set sight upon this world.

At the start it was the ones you trusted most
who took away your birthright and, consequently, the future
you could have had.

But now, in the end, it is you who will find those lost treasures
buried deep inside yourself.

And when you begin to find them you'll also rediscover that sense
of wonder and goodness all around you and, most of all, you'll finally
understand what a miracle you are, what a beautiful, miraculous being
and that the spirit you house is endless and strong. You'll know that spirit cannot be defeated.

When you come full circle and your healing finally starts,
you'll no longer feel guilt for everyone else who tried to make you
their rescuer.

When you begin to accept the natural order of the universe, that
tends towards healing, you will no longer believe the unkind, ugly and negative things those, who said they loved you, spoke to you in an effort to keep you
under their control.

When the seed of freedom begins to bloom in your mind, you will not be
afraid anymore and being alone will be a welcome thing instead of a
thing to avoid.

You'll know that you have triumphed over odds so extreme that, now, and for the rest of your life, you can face anything. Not only have you triumphed but you've learned secrets and wisdoms that many people do not have. You're instincts will be honed so well that you'll see beyond empty words and tears shed in your behalf but without action.

You'll know that you're going to be ok. You'll know that, if necessary, you are all you need to survive.

pb
Child Of Mine


Sweet child of mine, that i have hidden with time. In a place that should have never been. I call upon you to enter my home away from the sin. The sin of others that was placed upon you. I can ask why, but there is no true answer. Just know i am here calling to you. Pulling you out of the darkness forever.

So often i hear those cries that you have held onto for all these years. You were such a sweet child, filled with hope, and desire, to make the world a little brighter. But your world was crushed by those you adored. Hopeing that one day they would open the door. Release you from the hell that they kept you a prisoner of. Never once did they consider how innocent you were, instead they opened you up and riped your soul forever. As you hovered in a corner, scared and alone. you searched for answers that may never be known.

No one loved you, But I, Except that i could not save you or else we would die. I am here now, listening to your words, feeling your pain, and promising never to let you go. i will keep you safe, as safe as i know how. Never allowing anyone to beat you back down. I know i must reach inside of my soul, to free you from the grips of this lonely, dark hole. it will take time, but time we have. Never shall you question if time will run out. My sweet child you are safe now. Never to be hurt the way you once were. You shall never fear the dark, or the footsteps from behind. You are safe now my child, with me you shall stay. I promise one thing i will never stray. I will hold you in my heart free of worries, and fears. The light will stay on so you know i am here.

Together we will make it, past the horror, and fear. We one day will be reunited as one, and never have to look back on all these years. We will walk together as one and be proud to show the world what we have become.

Rose S.

GHOST CHILD-TO TRIUMPH

I've mourned the child-----that never was
The reason I've helped----is for a cause

Once called a "fairy-child"----'tis true
Everything now--------------------becoming true

Unknown, unheard---------------by anyone
The long, long search----------now a place in the sun

Some of that child remains today
She now speaks up--------------in a big, big way

She's learned that NOW-------it's time to fly
Upon a precipice-----------------away up high

A butterfly-----with wings of gold
Shimmering in sunlight--------now out of the cold

What happens to her now-----is up to me
She's done her work------------and now she is Free!

Submitted copyrighted/Alice M. Carleton
wacalice@aol.com
Sentry Children

Never a child
Always a sentry
Watching and listening
For things that could hurt me

Awake in the dark
Sweat to the bone
Why did she leave me
Here all alone?

Alone with him,
He's in there drunk
I'll never forget
How the house stunk

Sweating, can't run the fan
For then I won't hear
And how would I know
If he's coming near?

Leave on a light
Or else I can't see
How would I know
If he's coming for me?

We never change
Once out on our own
We only get older
Sentry children, now grown.

Reprinted with permission:
AngelMZ@aol.com copyright 1999

http://www.baddteddy.com/woundedtiger/main.htm

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Last updated by on 16 December 2015